CLOSURE

I guess its about time that I be bold and face up to my demons. This is not going to be pretty. This is going to be pretty "angst-sy". Purge myself of regrets, let go of "what-ifs" and move on...really move on.


This photo reminds me so much of decisions that I could have made better had I not been driven by my false belief that loyalty is enough to make the "world" (as i knew it) a better place.

What I did learn though is that loyalty works only if it is mutually shared and respected. When the recipient of your loyalty understands what you are offering and respects you for it. Sometimes, as in this case, loyalty did not do shit. Ironically, I believe it was perceived as a burden by the gaddang people I was loyal to (and now the angst begins).

I cannot fathom what the could-have-beens had I not been so trusting so I really do not regret about the what-ifs. My regret is concentrated only with that one misguided choice. Yes, it was a choice - my choice - and it wasn't a choice that brought the happiest times of my life.

On the other hand, I am motivated by the belief that the Lord moves in mysterious ways (or is it love moves in mysterious ways? hmmm...). That decisions - no matter how right or wrong we believe them to be - are meant to bring us something better.


Which brings me now to where I currently am. This photo brings back fond memories of really moving life experiences. This is where I was introduced to a plethora of human behavior. This is where I lost my infatuation with airtravel. This is where I realized that one-day-island-hopping is not my thing. This is where I understood that mirrors really do not lie (har har). This is also where I matured a lot, learned to dismiss sensitivity, accepted that differences can subtly merge together and create its own distinct culture.

And this is where I intend to be two weeks from now...communing with nature, enjoying the salty breeze, creating footprints in the sands and just letting life pass by.