Digress: Victory Pioneer | July 7, 2016 | Testimony

Digress: Victory Pioneer | July 7, 2016 | Testimony

Victory Pioneer | July 7, 2016 | Testimony

Good evening po.  Happy last day of our Prayer and Fasting! J   Konting kembot na lang, mabubuhayan na ulit ang mga alaga natin sa tyan.  Ako po si Kathie, and I want to share my story.

Alam nyo po, 2 years ago I was very pre-occupied with my life. I got promoted at work. I had meetings that required me to travel. I was very busy and I felt important. 

However, over the course of several months I began to have stomach problems. LBM kung LBM talaga. It got so bad, that by November 2014 I had it checked.  A colonoscopy showed I had a malignant mass in my colon, which the doctors said had to be removed right away. So I had the operation done. I texted family and friends and asked for prayers. 

An aunt shared Psalm 91 with me, and I remember waking up in the operating room saying this: “He is my refuge, my strength, my God in whom I trust”.  Pag nagising ka po pala sa gitna ng operasyon, talaga po palang ibibigay mo na ang lahat kay Lord. Kase di ba, baka huling gising mo na iyon.

So afterwards, the biopsy results came.  I had stage 2 colon cancer.  Sabi ng oncologist, I didn’t need chemo, kse stage 2 lang naman daw.  But she had my specimens sent to Singapore to check if hereditary ang cause ng cancer.  The results came back January 2015. My cancer was not hereditary and I. did.  not. have stage 2 cancer.  But, surprise surprise... I had stage 3 cancer!

Alam nyo po yung paminsan iniisip natin anong gagawin natin pag nanalo tayo ng jackpot sa lotto?  Ganun po ako when the doctor told me, pero in reverse.  I did not think about the things I will do, but I thought about the things I won’t be able to do.

“Stage 3, but curable” sabi ng doctor. At that moment, even the word “curable” was not comforting.  Alam mo na that your life is numbered. The finish line became a reality. Lahat tayo will pass one day, but we do not truly understand this until we have something tangible to attach it to. Cancer is a very strong tangible thing. 

I thought about the many life events of my daughter that I will miss. I thought about how my husband will cope. I thought about the emptiness of not being there. Or of not being here. Or of just plain not being.

Ang hirap. Ang hirap hirap.  Pero alam nyo po, sa dami ng naisip ko, hindi ko po naisip itanong kay Lord kung bakit ako. Hindi ko na rin sinabi kay Lord na bakit ang unfair nya? Tinanggap ko na naman itong katawan na ito kahit hindi sexy, pero bakit naman ang aga ng expiration date?  Hindi po dumaan sa isip ko na pagdudahan ang plans ni Lord for me.  Ang alam ko lang, gagaling ako kase yun ang pangako nya, kase sabi nya sa Psalm 91:16 “With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation”. Pinanghawakan ko talaga yan.

I went through 8 chemo cycles. I was hospitalized for one major complication. Every chemo cycle, naka “staycation” kami ng asawa ko sa hospital for 3 days. Yung expenses was unbelievable.  Pero pinaubaya na namin yun kay Lord. He just kept providing, and providing, and providing. May sukli pa nga! J

Pero ang pinaka importante pong nangyari during this time of my life was that our family got renewed in faith. Yung asawa ko po started volunteering sa ushering ministry a week before my 1^st chemo cycle. We also found our victory groups. We found prayer partners and prayer warriors. We found our spiritual leaders sa ating mga Pastors, lalong lalo na po kay Doc Jun.  Every Sunday we would attend the service – regardless if I just finished a cycle or about to start the next one.

October 2015, our family did the Victory Weekend.  We got water baptised – my husband, me and our 15yr old daughter.  Yun po ang tutuong heart-felt joy. Yung alam mo na this time, may maibabalik ka na kay Lord sa lahat ng kabutihan at grace Nya sa yo. Yung i-offer mo sa kanya yung buhay mo. Yung i-dedicate mo ang bawat araw sa Kanya. Yung i-pro-promise mo na you will try to live your life as an encouragement at testament to how good the Lord is.

My last chemo treatment was last year, July 8. 1 year anniversary na po bukas.

I am currently cancer-free. All my tests have shown negative results.  Sa tutuo lang, cancer marker tests lang talaga ang tests na gusto mo zero ang score mo. 

I am healed not because sabi nila colon cancer is the easiest cancer to cure, but because eto ang will ni Lord.

God wills for me to be healed. 

He has it written it in His palm, that I will spring back and be a testimony to how good and gracious and merciful He is.  

I am healed because God wants YOU to know that there is nothing He cannot do. 

That His miracles are not just for me, but He has miracles for you too. 

That He has blessings stored up for you to claim.

Let me wind this up by quoting the Lord’s wonderful promise in Psalm 91:14-16

“Because he loves me, says the Lord, I will rescue him;

I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.

He will call on me, and I will answer him

I will be with him in trouble

I will deliver him and honor him

And with long life

I will satisfy him and show him my salvation”

God Bless po and happy eating later! J

Testimony

I was told that when you share your testimony, you share how your life was before you surrendered to Christ and how it has changed after.  I have been attending a Christian church for more than 20 years - but in hindsight, I now realize that "attending" is not the same as participating and accepting. I was there, and I was not. My daily life was focused on getting ahead in the work place, consumed by the need to earn more and help my husband provide a comfortable life for our daughter. I was not ungrateful to the Lord though, I was actually extremely, extremely thankful to God for He has given me what I wanted and more. There were days when I couldn't even grasp in my head how lucky I was to be blessed by the Lord!

Then the unthinkable happened.  I started having stomach pains. The pains became quite unbearable that I had to get checked, and surprise! surprise! the doctor found a not-so-beautiful mass in my colon.  My husband and I were going to the hospital for consecutive days for tests, and I was told that I needed major surgery to get the mass out. I had the surgery done and recovered smoothly. The mass that was removed was tested, and was confirmed to be cancer. At 41 years old, I was diagnosed to have stage 3 colon cancer. I tell you this - it is true what they say, you will never wish this situation to even your most hated enemy.  The emotional pain gnaws on you. The psychological burden can make you lose it. You suddenly realize that your mortality is real. So, so, REAL. 

I had to complete 8 cycles of chemotherapy.  I started off with oral treatments, where I took tablets daily at home. We felt this was better than having to be admitted for 3 days in the hospital for IV treatments.  Unfortunately, on the 2nd cycle of oral treatments, my colon got so inflamed that I had to be hospitalized for a week. I was taken off the oral treatments, and had IV treatments for the remainder of my cycles. I breezed through the rest of the treatments. 

And here I am today. Alive. Blessed. Blessedly Alive.

So, I was told that when you share your testimony, you tell people who you were before and who you are now that you have accepted Christ in your life.  I have known Christ ever since I can remember.  I had a Catholic upbringing, went to Catholic schools, attended Catholic mass, celebrated Catholic holidays - I knew and recognized that Christ is our Savior.  But, my life was not a testament to this acceptance. 

I became a Christian primarily because I wanted to have a garden wedding (since the Catholic church does not allow wedding venues outside of the church) - hahaha!  I started as a reluctant Christian - reluctant, meaning, that it was a big effort to go attend worship services. I would rather go on a road trip or to the mall - hands down, no questions asked.

I eventually moved up to being a "silent" Christian.  My friends knew I was attending a Christian church, but I would never voluntarily offer this information.  I felt uncomfortable when conversations moved to bible stories or bible verses. 

My life was still so short of being a testament to Christ's salvation and grace. 

So, where is that line indicating my "before" and "after" life with Christ?  The line was visibly and strongly drawn when the mass was found.  I had my family and my close friends to hold onto during that difficult time, but I chose to hold on strongly to Christ.  He is my refuge, my fortress, my God, whom I trust (Psalm 91:2).  The Lord has been graciously merciful to me. I can not, not tell you how many miracles He has blessed me with:

1. The doctors treating at me were either the department heads or department directors.  I did not have the luxury to choose a doctor, as I was using my company's insurance and was therefore limited to the insurance company's accredited doctors.

2. Financial provisions never ceased.  I was on a non-paid medical leave. One less salary to support our family expenses, much more the added expensive medical costs. The bills continued to arrive, but our income was significantly crippled.  Only by His grace that we were able to pay what we needed to pay.  The Lord used our families and friends to extend financial support. We never asked from them, but they would come to us with help.  We learned humility, we learned to accept openly what we were being given.

3. The treatments went smooth.  I had very few days when I was not feeling 100% strong.  I had minimal side effects - apart from the inflammation.  I am able to eat well. I am able to walk around, take a bath, cook meals, watch TV, hang-out in facebook, carry long conversations, occasionally spend some time with friends.  Things that we would normally take for granted, I am very thankful that I can do.

4. We are able to share blessings to others. I was in the hospital on Christmas eve, and the person who delivers the food tray made his rounds early, so that he can go home to his family for Christmas. My husband felt a tug in his heart and went after the man, giving him a few hundred pesos. Thereafter, every time we were in the hospital, the man would deliver 2 food trays for us. The blessing that my husband shared was returned a thousand fold.

5. We found our Victory family.  On the week before I had to start my chemotherapy, my husband volunteered to be an usher for the 9am service. This has opened doors of friendship and prayer partners for us.  Faith is a wonderful experience, but it becomes exceptionally wonderful when shared.  The Lord has blessed us with so many friends who share the same faith, who strengthens and encourages us all the time.

6.  He has healed me. Completely. 

I was told that when you share your testimony, you share how your life was before you surrendered to Christ and how it has changed after.  My life before was good - good health, good career, good family, good friends.  Good. Yes, my life was good. Quietly good. 

But when I became vocal about my Christianity, life has leveled up!  It is now undeniably the BEST. Praising the Lord, giving back the glory to Him, accepting that He will never leave us, recognizing that our life is planned and we only need to seek His direction and follow His will.

Gloriously happy

A year ago today i was recuperating from surgery. I was recuperating, but i was still sick. Critically sick.

I have - so many times - ran it through my head, about how i would write up a piece about that phase... but I could never muster the courage. See, writing about it felt to me like giving it it's own wings, giving it a life of it's own. I did not want to give it the benefit of being such a "big thing" in my life. Until last night, during church, giving glory and praise to God, I heard it. I heard HIM.  How can I glorify my God properly, wholeheartedly and completely if I do not acknowledge what I went through? If I do not share the experience and tell people what makes our lives worth living?

See, a year ago today, I knew I had stage 2 colon cancer.  I had a successful surgery that took it out (Praise God for the wonderful doctors He used as His instruments). I was at home, tending to my new "vertical bikini cut". I was waiting for the second biopsy reading from Singapore Hospital (upon the recommendation of my oncologist, we sent my specimens to Singapore). My emotions were in limbo, for how can you function if your future - and not just your long-range future but your "tomorrow-and-the-day-after-tomorrow" kind of future - is unsure of?

Days after, we got the results. Surprise surpise. I did not have stage 2 colon cancer. I had...wait for it...stage 3 colon cancer.  Ting-a-ling-ding-ding!!! 

You know how you play it in your head about what you would do if you won the lottery?  That was how it was for me when my doctor told me, but in reverse. I did not think about the things I will do, I thought about the things I wouldn't be able to do. To this day, I can still hear my husband's deep breath when we were told about it. It is a memory that I believe will forever be a part of me. The sound that told me just how much this beautiful person loves me completely. 

So anyway, I digress. Back to my "lottery winning" moment. 

"Stage 3, but curable". Yeah. At that moment, even the word "curable" was not comforting. You just know that your life is numbered. The finish line became a reality.  We all will pass one day, but we do not truly fully comprehend this knowledge until we really have something tangible to attach it to. Cancer is one strong tangible thing.  One finally grasps the concepts of the "life ever after", "light at the end of the tunnel", "going home" and so many other poetic phrases when one is diagnosed with critical illness. I can tell you now, there is nothing minutely poetic about another human being telling you how your body is not cooperating with your life goals. 

I thought about the many events that I may miss if this illness wins. I thought about the many things that would easily bother me, the people whose mere presence would annoy me, the petty incidents that would turn me into a witch. I thought about how I have not even made up a bucket list yet. I thought about how I spent so much energy at work, making it like my life depended on it. I thought about the friendships I lost, the relationships I gave up on. I thought about the life events of my daughter that I may miss. I thought about how my husband will cope. I thought about the emptiness of not being there. Or of not being here. Or of just plain not being.

People who have gone through serious life incidents would tell you that there are more important things in life than your work, your career, your business.  That you should make every effort to build your relationships, nourish your family, spend time doing what you love. 

They are right. I can tell you that. I can honestly tell you that the company you work for will not close shop if you clock out on time. Your career will not crash if you take that short weekend getaway. Your business will not fold up if you go home and have dinner with your family.

But I am not writing this piece to tell you that in order to live your life to the fullest and have no regrets, you have to focus on your family, your relationships, on doing what you love.  No, doing all that and even tacking on the bonus of completing your bucket list, will not guarantee you a life well lived, with no regrets. 

See what I realized during that precious moments of being in-between the here and now, was that life is not about me. It is not about what I want or what I should do. It's about what the will of the Lord is. It's about not just acknowledging His will, it's also about humbly accepting it. It's about glorifying Him with the life that we live.

"Put God first, and everything will follow." True. Absolutely, rock steady, true. Think about it, God's promise is that He will bless those who honor Him. If He is the first consideration in everything that we do, then we are confident that all our everything will be blessed. Extremely, abundantly, overflowingly blessed.

I am not perfect in faith. I have my weak moments, but now I am able to identify those moments to be able work towards correcting them. I am going to be a continuing work in progress for the Lord, but I intend to make the Lord's work easier from now on. 

I am healed now. Confirmed clear of any cancer. I am healed not because colon cancer is reportedly the most curable of all cancers. I am healed because God wills for me to be healed. He has it written in His palm that I will spring back and be a testimony to how good and gracious and merciful He is. And He is. He truly is.

So, what makes our life worth living? It is not about fulfilling our own desires. It is about living our life for the glory of God!

Go ahead, enjoy life. Enjoy it and give thanks to the Lord that He has given you the chance to live it according to His will!

Don't forget to catch your blessings everyday!

Praise and Glory God!

Raising the bar, but not too high please?

I have always been driven to get people to reach their 100% potential, and this has caused me to set the bar high.  I guess, for some people, an 80% expectation should be good enough.  If someone can fill 80% of my expectations, then I should be doing a happy dance all the way.

Oh the Irony!

I pin-searched for "reactions" and found this amusing.  If I am so "matured", why would I even bother making a social media declaration about it?  

But, then again, this is so spot on that I couldn't resist blogging about it.  

Yes, leaving people to do the same LAME s*** that they do is the best reaction.

Let them fester and boil in their own cauldron of closed-mindedness. 

I should really remember to keep my mouth shut and just let people do what they want to do, because really, how many people are seriously open to being critiqued?  

Laughter is the best medicine

Me to anak, as she was about to take her vitamin C:  "Nak, pahingi nga. Iinom din ako."

Since she takes her vitamin C together with Cherifer, she goes:  "Eh pag uminom ka ng Vitamin C, dapat iinom ka rin ng Cherifer. Partner kasi sila"

Me:  "Hindi na ako pwedeng mag Cherifer. Pang bata lang yan"

Anak, looks at her Cherifer, and reads from the packet: "Pwede naman. Nakasulat dito for 10-22"

Then, she looks up at me, with a silly smile, winks, and goes:  "Uyyyyyy!"

Obviously referring to my constant claim that I am only in my twenties.

Good riddance

This person told me : "magaling ka talaga, masyado lang strong." 

I was very much tempted to respond: "nope. Masyado ka lang b-o-b-o" 

Haist. Some people are so full of themselves that they delude themselves into thinking that they are always right.

Good riddance, i say.

JA

Jonathan Adler.