Testimony

I was told that when you share your testimony, you share how your life was before you surrendered to Christ and how it has changed after.  I have been attending a Christian church for more than 20 years - but in hindsight, I now realize that "attending" is not the same as participating and accepting. I was there, and I was not. My daily life was focused on getting ahead in the work place, consumed by the need to earn more and help my husband provide a comfortable life for our daughter. I was not ungrateful to the Lord though, I was actually extremely, extremely thankful to God for He has given me what I wanted and more. There were days when I couldn't even grasp in my head how lucky I was to be blessed by the Lord!

Then the unthinkable happened.  I started having stomach pains. The pains became quite unbearable that I had to get checked, and surprise! surprise! the doctor found a not-so-beautiful mass in my colon.  My husband and I were going to the hospital for consecutive days for tests, and I was told that I needed major surgery to get the mass out. I had the surgery done and recovered smoothly. The mass that was removed was tested, and was confirmed to be cancer. At 41 years old, I was diagnosed to have stage 3 colon cancer. I tell you this - it is true what they say, you will never wish this situation to even your most hated enemy.  The emotional pain gnaws on you. The psychological burden can make you lose it. You suddenly realize that your mortality is real. So, so, REAL. 

I had to complete 8 cycles of chemotherapy.  I started off with oral treatments, where I took tablets daily at home. We felt this was better than having to be admitted for 3 days in the hospital for IV treatments.  Unfortunately, on the 2nd cycle of oral treatments, my colon got so inflamed that I had to be hospitalized for a week. I was taken off the oral treatments, and had IV treatments for the remainder of my cycles. I breezed through the rest of the treatments. 

And here I am today. Alive. Blessed. Blessedly Alive.

So, I was told that when you share your testimony, you tell people who you were before and who you are now that you have accepted Christ in your life.  I have known Christ ever since I can remember.  I had a Catholic upbringing, went to Catholic schools, attended Catholic mass, celebrated Catholic holidays - I knew and recognized that Christ is our Savior.  But, my life was not a testament to this acceptance. 

I became a Christian primarily because I wanted to have a garden wedding (since the Catholic church does not allow wedding venues outside of the church) - hahaha!  I started as a reluctant Christian - reluctant, meaning, that it was a big effort to go attend worship services. I would rather go on a road trip or to the mall - hands down, no questions asked.

I eventually moved up to being a "silent" Christian.  My friends knew I was attending a Christian church, but I would never voluntarily offer this information.  I felt uncomfortable when conversations moved to bible stories or bible verses. 

My life was still so short of being a testament to Christ's salvation and grace. 

So, where is that line indicating my "before" and "after" life with Christ?  The line was visibly and strongly drawn when the mass was found.  I had my family and my close friends to hold onto during that difficult time, but I chose to hold on strongly to Christ.  He is my refuge, my fortress, my God, whom I trust (Psalm 91:2).  The Lord has been graciously merciful to me. I can not, not tell you how many miracles He has blessed me with:

1. The doctors treating at me were either the department heads or department directors.  I did not have the luxury to choose a doctor, as I was using my company's insurance and was therefore limited to the insurance company's accredited doctors.

2. Financial provisions never ceased.  I was on a non-paid medical leave. One less salary to support our family expenses, much more the added expensive medical costs. The bills continued to arrive, but our income was significantly crippled.  Only by His grace that we were able to pay what we needed to pay.  The Lord used our families and friends to extend financial support. We never asked from them, but they would come to us with help.  We learned humility, we learned to accept openly what we were being given.

3. The treatments went smooth.  I had very few days when I was not feeling 100% strong.  I had minimal side effects - apart from the inflammation.  I am able to eat well. I am able to walk around, take a bath, cook meals, watch TV, hang-out in facebook, carry long conversations, occasionally spend some time with friends.  Things that we would normally take for granted, I am very thankful that I can do.

4. We are able to share blessings to others. I was in the hospital on Christmas eve, and the person who delivers the food tray made his rounds early, so that he can go home to his family for Christmas. My husband felt a tug in his heart and went after the man, giving him a few hundred pesos. Thereafter, every time we were in the hospital, the man would deliver 2 food trays for us. The blessing that my husband shared was returned a thousand fold.

5. We found our Victory family.  On the week before I had to start my chemotherapy, my husband volunteered to be an usher for the 9am service. This has opened doors of friendship and prayer partners for us.  Faith is a wonderful experience, but it becomes exceptionally wonderful when shared.  The Lord has blessed us with so many friends who share the same faith, who strengthens and encourages us all the time.

6.  He has healed me. Completely. 

I was told that when you share your testimony, you share how your life was before you surrendered to Christ and how it has changed after.  My life before was good - good health, good career, good family, good friends.  Good. Yes, my life was good. Quietly good. 

But when I became vocal about my Christianity, life has leveled up!  It is now undeniably the BEST. Praising the Lord, giving back the glory to Him, accepting that He will never leave us, recognizing that our life is planned and we only need to seek His direction and follow His will.