Beside the Creek

My neighbor alex is celebrating her 8th year in one place, and as I told her, this has made me nostalgic.

I spent close to a decade in the same company. About a humble half of which was spent doubting whether I was in the right place. It was not so much that I did not like what I was doing because I did. I really did. I think it was more of me not seeing my place in the organization. I always felt that I was just there - that I was a conduit to getting results achieved. Parang medium ng mga lost souls, sasaniban to get a message across, tapos iiwanan ng lupaypay pag natapos na ang seance.

Anyway, I think the reason why I stayed on was because of the friendships I developed through the years. Parang pill box ang 10 years ko doon - may separators to indicate a time line.

The best group of friends I had was Ronald and the Lab Girls. Sila yung unang set of friends ko who made sense to me and who I really could share good laughs with. Up until now, sila pa rin ang pinaka pinaka na-enjoy ko kasama.

I also developed good friendships with the HR people. There were perks with being chummy with the HR - you get inside scoops and stories. The downside lang is, you never can really tell anybody about the secrets.. and well, secrets are just much juicier if you share them di ba?

Then during the later years, I had the chance to get to know the new generation of employees. They were a few years younger and well, I was a bitch by then already so I probably wouldn't have won miss congeniality. But they were quite a brave bunch - they let me join a few lunch outs and who knows, they may have gottten disappointed that I wasn't much of the bitch that I seemed to be.

So when friends started moving on and going away, I started to lose the joy of being where I was. And then things happened, decisions were made, promises were blurred and it just all together stopped being a happy place for me.

And here I am now. Looking back to where I was 3 years ago, not with the same heavy heart I used to have, but with a mix of gladness for people who have found their own real joy there and sadness for those who are just trapped with nowhere to go.